5 Ways My Loathing of Texting + Driving Will Lead to My Untimely Death

5 Ways My Loathing of Texting + Driving Will Lead to My Untimely Death
  1. Shrieking “Put your fucking phone down!!” at other drivers as I veer off the road
  2. Mean-mugging drivers who are clearly texting, subsequently smashing into oncoming semi
  3. Stress-induced high blood pressure
  4. Depression due to losing all my friends, who tell me I have become “really one-note lately”
  5. Texting + driving