FASHION FRIDAY: Travel Chic

Hello, devoted Fashion Fridayers! Please accept my apologies for a long absence. What can I say? When business gets crazy, your own blog is the first to suffer. I’m working on that. ūüėČ

Tomorrow, I’ll take my third trip in as many months. I’ve got plane-wear down to a science–and I promise it’s not all Juicy Velour sweatpants and VS Pink hoodies.

Just in case it needs to be said, always build your travel outfit around your shoes.¬†I don’t know how many times I’ve shuffled past miserable women in the airport, tottering painfully on stiletto heels with their poor, raw toes hanging out like uncanned Vienna sausages. This pair of adorable, snappy lace-up flats from seller BangiShop is just the ticket.

Striped Leather Flats
Unlacing these leather sweat-sponges at the security checkpoint is gonna be a truly unpleasant experience.

High-quality yoga or palazzo pants are another good way to look like you’re not wearing your pajamas to tour the world, while totally wearing your pajamas to tour the world. I like this pair from seller OmBeautiful, who clearly has life figured out.

Yellow Palazzo Pants
What’s that? I’m sorry, I can’t hear you through all the Zen.

Definitely wear long sleeves on your travels. You can always push them up if you get hot, but you can never make your forearms warm without lighting them on fire. Or, you know, wearing a jacket. I’m digging this weirdo design from seller WoodenJacket.

Cowboy/Indian Shirt
Forever at war, on your chest!

The final thing you need to tie it all together, and trick your Starbucks-fueled fellow passengers into thinking you’ve got it all figured out, is a big ol’ piece of statement jewelry–like this honking cocktail ring from seller AtelierYumi. Just don’t forget to pick it up from the TSA’s little plastic bowl as you’re going through security.

Druzy Cocktail Ring
Punch uppity TSA officers in the teeth!

Wish me bon voyage!

FASHION FRIDAY: Comfortable Clothes for Creative People

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

Happy Friday! It’s true–I’ve written a Fashion Friday post about being comfortable before. Okay, maybe more than once.

However, my quest for comfortable clothes continues. Here’s what I’ve discovered: It’s possible to look cute and/or professional without squeezing yourself into an outfit/shoe combo¬†that ruins your feet and/or your day.

Colorblock Top
You’ll never guess how expensive two pieces of silk can be once you sew them together.

Take, for example, this cute colorblock top from seller XSILK. Sure, since it’s sheer, you might have to wear something under it, thus doubling your effort–and since it’s silk, you couldn’t sweat or even sit down while wearing it–BUT you’d have enough room to release your stomach pooch. Take a deep breath and let it all hang out.

Pocket Shirtdress
Comfortably store all the nuts and seeds you need to make it through the winter!

If the last time you saw your ironing board was right before a wedding or a funeral, it might be better for you to stick to low-maintenance fabrics. This tentlike, cotton creation from seller deboy2000 is right up Not Really Trying Alley.

No one will be able to tell if you’re pregnant, or just impossibly chic!

Polka-Dot Sweater
Pantslessness is next to godliness.

Speaking of winter, that will be the perfect time to bust out this polka-dot¬†masterpiece from seller rockstreetvintage. People will be so enamored with your devil-may-care sweater style, they won’t even notice you’re not wearing pants.

Multi-strand Jersey Necklace
Kind of like a friendly, patriotic octopus.

Seller BaobabFabricArt made this necklace by drawing-and-quartering several thrift store sweaters, then gathering up their innards and having Rapunzel spin them into a sea creature. Whatever; I dig it.

Have a comfortable weekend!

FASHION FRIDAY: Gold on to Me

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday It’s a gloomy day in New Orleans today. You know what always helps with gloomy days? SPARKLY STUFF. Lucky for you, I sifted through a bunch of boring, low-quality gold stuff on Etsy for a few delicate, gorgeous pieces that you can actually all wear at once. How often does that happen? Let’s gold!

Gold Ear Cuff
What’s that, Legolas? You’re jealous of my jewelry?

First up, we have this magical ear cuff from seller knobbly, who may or may not be an elf princess. If you’ve always wanted an Industrial piercing, but you aren’t a fan of getting big, bloody holes punched through your cartilage (different strokes, different folks), you can try this less-permanent alternative on for style.

Gold Bar Necklace
Two inches long, made of gold, with a phoenix feather core. If you don’t get the reference, I don’t want to know you.

Barring complications, this necklace from seller bySiukwan should go with everything you own (unless everything you own is made of silver, in which case, here is my telephone number: (xxx) [REDACTED].

Gold Ring
Buy yourself a finger-hug.

Here’s a cute little gold ring from seller StefanieSheehan. Its open style would go perfectly with a light summer dress, or swollen, diabetic fingers.

Gold Bracelet
Murdered tree not included.

Finish your look with this hammered gold bangle by seller PointNoPointStudio. As usual, there’s one item about which I just can’t say anything bad. Look at this harmless little bangle. It has never experienced the horror of your wrist. This gold-themed post comes to you straight from an avowed brass-jewelry fanatic–but hey, I’m learning.

FASHION FRIDAY: Spring Sparkles

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

Good morning, you sexy fiends.

Okay, so it’s not morning–I got a bit of a late start. No matter. I went to the gym today (who am I?) and am chock-full of energy to bring you EVERYTHING that sparkles on Etsy.

And by that, I mean four of the best sparkly things, because I don’t have all day. Let’s do this:

Green Amethyst Ring
Like a bug’s eye, but less gross and horrible.

Since it’s February, we should start with the February birthstone. But that’s amethyst, and I hate purple. So instead, check out this green amethyst ring from seller DaniqueJewelry! Did you know green amethyst was a thing? I’m skeptical.

Labradorite Earrings
*Not made from real Labradors.

Oh my god, look at these labradorite earrings from seller Ringsland. They are so sparkly, it’s like the night sky being crammed into your earlobes! Who needs astronomy? I’ve got jewelry.

Giant Gem Necklace
My preshusssss.

I wasn’t messing around when I said I would find all of the sparkles on Etsy. Fully half of them are contained in this ludicrously gigantic rhinestone necklace from seller stellacreations. It might break your neck when you put it on. But look on the bright side (get it?)–at least it’s not a choking hazard.

Instead of finishing this post with a bracelet, I think it’s time for a watch.¬†I hope you are appreciating these jokes.

Steampunk Plugs
Gears for ears.

Actually, upon further review, I haven’t found a sparkly watch on Etsy that is up to par for this post. Maybe the problem is that I don’t like sparkly watches. So instead, I give you these kickass, steampunk ear gauges from seller Jamlincrow. I don’t have double-zero gauges, but maybe someday when I’m done being all politically correct and having normal-sized earlobes, I’ll give it a try.

Are your retinas appropriately seared? Have you bought me those labradorite earrings yet? Please answer “yes” to both.

FASHION FRIDAY: Winter Wonderland

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday More like wishful wonderland–there’s no snow in New Orleans, and there’s likely never to be any. But that’s okay, because the windows are open and I’m SO READY TO WRITE THIS POST. Here are a few low-key, festive sartorial selections for those of you who genuinely like Christmas, but aren’t ready to scream that to the world with a sparkly Kmart sweater:

Maxi skirt
It only comes in sizes 0 – toothpick.

Just kidding! You’re going to get some stares with this totally insane, giant green corduroy skirt from seller xiaolizi. Not only will it make you look like an elf, it will make you look like you’re smuggling 10 more elves.

Colorblock scarf
Cheery, without being scary.

This scarf from seller ScarfObsession will go right along with your new green corduroy skirt-apartment. It’s got red and green for Christmas, AND blue for Hanukkah. There’s even a little gold/brown in there, for some other holiday-type holiday that is probably not Kwanzaa.

Temporary tattoos
Rudolph the red-nosed tramp stamp, anyone?

If you want to show your winter spirit in a less-dressed kinda way, try on these woodland creature tattoos from seller whitneyjane. Chances are the entire office will see you naked after that fourth glass of eggnog, so why not give ’em something to look at?

Pearl earrings
Is it a snowflake? An upside-down tree? Whatever; she has pretty lipstick.

Finally, I’m not usually a fan of dangly earrings (let’s just say I overdid it in high school), but these freshwater pearl tree earrings from seller VirginiaGeigerJewels caught my eye. They’re a less conventional version of the thousands of boring silver snowflake bracelets I plowed through to find you, well, these earrings. Do you dress up for the holidays? Because I might just have to try it this year.

FASHION FRIDAY: Grin and Be a Bear

Wait, that’s not how it goes.

Just you watch: this post is going to top Google for “bear fashion” searches. Which everyone does all the time, right?

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

Our theme for Fashion Friday this week is bears, and how awesome they can be. Anything that sleeps all winter has my vote for World’s Smartest Animal (fox-exclusionary edition).

Amazing bear hat
Haaaaay-bernation.

You knew it was coming: a BEAR HAT from seller EllaGajewskaHATS, picked from Etsy’s multitudes of hats with bear descriptors. Not all bear hats are created equal, because this one is the best.¬†Like a circus bear riding on a bicycle, it’s almost too awesome.

bear necklace
Baby bear (Goldilocks not included).

For the less statement-inclined, this little brass-plated bear necklace from seller handmadebybluebird should do the trick. But really, live a little. Specifically, live forever with the mittens below.

bear mittens
What did one bear say to the other? No one knows, because you don’t get that close to a pair of bears.

Next, and definitively unmatching, come these bear mittens from seller Pomber. To be honest, they look a little scratchy–but probably less eye-gouging than a real bear. And free shipping! Can you imagine how much it costs to ship a bear?

steampunk bear necklace
Robobear just wants to love you.

Let’s finish up with another necklace–this mind-boggling steampunk bear from seller tasherajean. Look at its sparkly little eyes! And its sparkly little friends! I need one.

Did you like this post? Did you find it barely bearable? Let me know, or just come up to me at the bar and ask, “Hey, what’s ursine?”

FASHION FRIDAY: Lemon + Stone

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

Good morning, lovely readers. This Fashion Friday, I present to you an often underrated color combo: lemon + stone (often referred to by those not in the know as “yellow + gray”. Psh).

gg
Shoes for the uncrushably cheerful.

Kick things off [your feet] with a pair of custom flats from seller TheDrifterLeather, whom I also featured last month. Apparently I just can’t get enough colorful dried cow skin.

gg
Post-moo.

Also made of former cows: this sleek bag from seller farragobags2 (maybe farragobags1 was taken?). Slip in your laptop, important case files, and the above flats as backup for when you have to walk in heels and carry things and you don’t want your feet to bleed.

gg
Chevron. Chevroff.

Next, outclass your fellow technophiles with a cheery cover for your iPad/Nook/Kindle/other tiny screen you stare at instead of reading books. This chevron case from seller gothicreations is made to order, and bemusingly non-Gothic.

Put a bird on it!
Put a bird on it!

This tie from seller MeandMatilda will do nicely¬†for the ornithologically inclined men in your life. It comes in all sorts of sizes, both pre-tied and standard, because it’s never too early to start dressing up a baby.