FASHION FRIDAY: Polka Dot Psychosis

For some of us, polka dots are a leery prospect. I personally owned nothing with polka dots on it until this summer, when my well-meaning mom sent me a bright blue scarf spotted with cheery little white circles. I am currently wearing that scarf. WHO AM I?

If you thought the inspiration for Fashion Friday came from divine insight, sorry; it actually came via USPS from Baltimore.

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

WARNING: If you wear all of these items at once, you will spontaneously combust upon looking in the mirror.

Polka Dot Dress
Collard blues.

Let’s start off slow with this Peter Pan-collared dotty dress from seller FleetCollection. It’s sheer enough to be sexy, but not sheer enough that you’d need to charge people to look at you. Unless the bottom part is sheer too, which it looks like it is. In that case, make that money, girl.

Red Hair Bow
It’s a statement piece. The statement is, “I’m six.”

Next we have a classic polka-dotted hair bow from seller myjustpeachyshop–a steal at five bucks. You have to have a lot of hair to pull this one off, though, otherwise you might accidentally channel a desperate, meth-head Minnie Mouse.

Polka Dot Tights
Barbie feet not included.

Should you require some leg coverage, snap on these tights from seller BetweenLoveI’ve heard that polka dot tights can make your legs look fat, but so can ski suits, pizza pants, and jeans stuffed with packing peanuts. I guess what I’m saying is: live a little. And let me know when you’re done with your pizza pants so I can eat them.

Megadot Skirt
Each dot is actually a tiny civilization built of white marble.

Finally, this “mega polka dot” skirt from seller SandeeRoyalty offers a flattering cut with dots so big you could hide coded messages in them. Invite someone to decipher the code and “connect the dots”. Best pickup line ever: you’re welcome.

Like I said, don’t wear all of these together or the world will end. BUT if you do, send me a picture at lianna@theenglishmaven.com.

 

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