FASHION FRIDAY: Back, and Still Rude

A love letter to the last week of summer camp (in haiku form, because who has time to read a whole letter?):

O camp, I love you
However: it’s time to go
I have camper plague

You can blame the aforementioned plague for the lack of Fashion Friday in your lives and inboxes last week. Though I still sound like an asthmatic Fran Drescher, I peeled myself out of bed to find some stuff to ridicule for you. It might be my giant tonsils, but I’m feeling harsh.

Fashion Friday #fashionfriday

Here we go:

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Not a right triangle in any sense of the term.

This triangle-shaped leather backpack from 20twentyvintage is on the theme-curated front page of Etsy today. I’m not sure if the theme was “Back to the Future” or “Things That Make You Uncomfortable But You Can’t Put Your Finger on Why.” Maybe because this backpack looks like it should (or used to) have fingers of its own.

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Price cut!!! Buy me one thousand please.

Zing bang. NEXT. Trolling the “Recently Listed Items” section yielded this handcrafted miracle of modern fabric-work, from coyly named seller ScarfMood. After browsing the fraying catastrophes in the rest of the store, I’m looking forward to seeing this seller’s next brainchild: perhaps a sheer leopard-print scarf accented with lace? No, wait, they did that already.

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My next album cover

In case your friends don’t know you’re cool yet, pop on this be-Lennoned baseball shirt from seller cottonclick. I’ve never seen a cat look more like a bug, and you’ll never look like a bigger tool.

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Will you marry me? GTFO.

To finish up your weekly dose of WTF, have a look at this “ring” from seller elsahats. Making jewelry: no longer just an art form. Just grab a rock, some string, and your nearest gumball-machine prize ring. Put them together and call it “tribal”! If someone pays $10 for this, I’m quitting writing.

Love,

Your resident curmudgeon Maven

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